Take Heart
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33 NIV).
The groom nervously wiped away tears in anticipation of his bride’s appearance. He did it again when the door at the back of the pavilion finally flung open. There she was—stunningly beautiful and radiant. He could hardly wait to touch her. She glided down the aisle toward him, her mom and dad on either side. “Who giveth this woman to take this man?” “We do,” they answered in perfect unison.
Jennifer, my husband’s “youngest” favorite daughter, was downright giddy as she reached out and took hold of Kevin’s hands. Who would have anticipated such an outburst of emotion? But the nerves finally settled; and soon after, the vows were read. Both were peppered with humor and plenty of breathy, hold-back-the-tears type pauses, their words and gestures revealing a deep, abiding affection for one another, along with an intuitive “knowing” and understanding that, I trust, will expand and develop for many years to come.
The ring ceremony brought it all to quite a dramatic climax. “We are almost there!” the pastor assured them several times. The witnesses were in stitches. The couple had leaned closer and closer to one other as the nuptials had progressed. At the end, they were hardly able to contain what was supposed to be the end-of-ceremony kiss!
The Glue that Holds it Together
I have attended several family weddings recently. Each time I have prayed, “Lord, hold this seemingly ‘made in heaven’ marriage together with the right glue!” I missed it in my own first marriage, but God has since shown me through His Word what this “glue” in fact is: (1) intimacy, or the continual sharing of one another’s hearts and (2) boundaries that fall in all the right places.
God is a relational God. Above all, He wants us to use this glue that will allow us to establish, grow, and maintain the love relationship He desires for us to have with Him. And it’s not by accident that throughout the Bible He uses the analogy of marriage, the most intimate relationship between two people, to describe what He intends His relationship with humanity to look like.
This is the takeaway: The same ingredients that make each individual person’s relationship with God successful and lasting are the same things that will make marriage relationships work successfully, remain satisfying, and last for many years to come.
An Unlikely Gift
One of the most striking Old Testament “marriage analogies” occurred when Moses met with God on Mount Sinai—the encounter leading to the receipt of an unlikely “wedding” gift. The Bible says that Moses and God had a heart-to-heart talk, a very intimate conversation that lasted 40 days and 40 nights. It was “face-to-face as a man speaks to his friend” (Exodus 33:11 AMP).
Note: The Hebrew word for “speak,” dabar, suggests the conversation was not casual, but the sharing of hearts between two people, such as a husband and wife. Also, the word for “friend,” ra’ah, connotes a “consuming passion.” When Moses and God were speaking to one another, they were doing so as beloveds, sharing passion one for the other.
Now the point of God’s conversation with Moses on the mountain was to reveal what “right” and “lasting” relations between Himself and His people should look like (that is, what would be required of His people so they could keep their relationship with Him “safe”—so it would never die). By extension, God revealed what relations between the people themselves should look like (what would also be required to keep those relationships “safe,” for a lifetime).
So when Moses came down from the mountain, he was holding the gift God had given to him and the people, a “formula” for life (intimacy and boundary regulations) written on two stone tablets. God had written it with His own finger! It was The Ten Commandments!
Here is a synopsis of what the tablets said:
(1) Stay within the bounds of loving Me first. (Don’t forget that You are My bride. I love you!) Don’t love anything or anyone more than you love Me. (Don’t cheat on Me!) Don’t refer to Me in a derogatory manner. (Praise Me, instead! Praise blesses Me!) Don’t steal from Me. (Everything you have belongs to Me, anyway.) Keep the Sabbath day holy. (Rest from your work on that day, to honor Me. I AM God!)
(2) Stay within the bounds of loving other people more than you love yourself. This means don’t lie to them. Don’t let yourself desire to have their things (to the extent that it causes you to have ill feelings toward them or to steal from them or to murder them). Also, don’t have sex with other people’s spouses (or with anyone other than your own spouse). Honor your parents. (They also gave you life.)
Join Your Life with His
This is the truth: When we don’t live within the boundaries God gave, it hurts His heart. Ultimately, our hearts get damaged, too. But when we live within the boundaries, our lives are conjoined with His. This is how we become “complete.” It’s also how we become confident that our relations with Him and with others are good, successful, and protected.
“And He gave to Moses, when He had ceased communing with him on Mount Sinai, the two tables of the Testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God” (Exodus 31:18 AMP).
Let’s consider the hidden meaning of this verse, so we can understand the concept of “completeness,” according to Hebrew tradition. Some scholars believe the phrase “when He had ceased communing with him” has lost its true meaning in the translation. The entire phrase is one Hebrew word, kekalotho, taken from the root word kalah, a homonym that can mean both “complete” and “bride.”
Because Jewish literature states that man is not kalah (that is, “complete” or “finished”) until he “takes a bride,” the phrase should be translated as both “complete” and “bride.” When Moses came down from the mountain, the union (or marriage) between himself and God was complete.
Jesus Manifested God’s Heart
God gave the gift He did because He desired that our relationship with Him, along with all marital and familial relationships, be “safe” (never devoid of intimacy and unconditional love). An intimate relationship requires time and complete honesty. A safe and loving relationship requires trust. The acceptance of God’s wedding gift into our lives promotes the understanding of how all these things work together for our good.
When Jesus came to earth as God in the flesh, His words were full of “life” and “Spirit.” That is, His words were God’s heart. Also, His actions manifested what God’s heart looks like. He had to demonstrate “the fullness” and “the exact image” of who God is because people had forgotten these things, misinterpreted them, or never known them at all. Their hearts were hard and cold and had become lost.
And God wanted to reach them. He wanted to reach them all! Because Jesus had God’s heart (a full understanding of His mind and purposes), He was able to touch and inspire people to change, and to follow His ways—not by just following the letter of the Law (the rules and regulations man had added to the original ten), but by following the Spirit of God’s original intent (that is, by conjoining their hearts with His).
Take Hold of Jesus’ Heart
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.” So we should expect to have some trouble in our relationships, especially in the closest, most intimate ones, our marriages. We live in a fallen world. But Jesus came to provide us with peace (and solutions) as regards our troubles, sorrows, and relational issues.
Later, in the same verse, Jesus said, “But take heart. I have overcome the world.”
Some translations say “take courage” or “be confident,” instead of “take heart”—but I believe the gist of what Jesus was saying is this: “Take a new mind,” or “take a new heart.” That is, “take hold of My Heart, my understanding, My Life!”
This is what we must remember: The Gospel message covers a lot of territory. Eternal salvation is the main objective, yes! But this salvation also includes the fact that Jesus overcame adversity for us through the resurrection, so we wouldn’t have to be harmed by it while we are here on earth. This is a promise that can be fulfilled, when we “exchange” our hearts for His.
When we turn to take hold of Him (through repentance), we are in effect giving our hearts to Him. In exchange, He gives His heart back to us. In other words, our Wrongness (our sin and the power of our sin) is “exchanged” for His Rightness (His completion and wholeness). We overcome!
The Word I Want to Give
Here is the “word” I want to give Jennifer and Kevin, in celebration of their recent union. Maybe it’s a word we can all use.
“Kevin, Jennifer, God has given us tools to use in our marriages that work like glue. Used correctly, we married folks stick together and enjoy a good and never-ending relationship. The tools I’m referring to are (1) intimacy (meaning the continual sharing of one another’s hearts) and (2) boundaries (the ones that fall in all the right places).
“I think you’ve got the intimacy part down for now, so let’s talk about the boundaries. Don’t worry, the boundaries always fall in pleasant places!
“Now the boundaries have different names—like ‘forgiveness,’ ‘unconditional love,’ and ‘loyalty to your one and only.’ Kevin, for you, your pleasant place is called ‘It’s all about Jenn!’ Jenn, your pleasant place is called ‘It’s all about Kevin!’
“Jenn, Kevin, Jesus Himself told us that in this world we will have trouble. In your life together, I surmise there will be a degree of adversity that you will have to overcome together. And you will—with God’s help!
“When that time comes, you may find reason to doubt God’s love for you and your marriage. You may think you have found good reason to cross the boundary line of forgiveness and loyalty. You may think you have found good reason to make it all about you.
“But here’s my admonition. Turn and go back to where you started, taking Jesus’ heart into the matter (His mind, His ways, His life)! Grab hold of Him, and don’t let go! You will overcome!
“Jenn, remember when we prayed together on the phone that God would send you the perfect match??? He surely did! I am so happy about that!
“I thank Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we ask or imagine! God bless you and your life together! Forever! Amen.”
Emily Gardner Foppe helps hurting people find peace and establish wholeness. Memory healing is one of the tools she uses. She also teaches people how to effectively “exchange” their Wrong things for Right things. Exchange is redemption. It’s a powerful solution! Visit her website to read other blogs or to sign up for a consultation: www.emilygardnerfoppe.com. Her books, Finding the Secret Place: Eight Keys to Experiencing God’s Presence and Invite Jesus into Your Traumatic Memories can be purchased through Amazon.com.
Related Verses:
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you]” (John 16:33 AMP).
“The Spirit is the one who gives life, that which is of the natural realm is of no help. The words I speak to you are Spirit and life. But there are still some of you who won’t believe” (John 6:63 TPT).
“Don’t owe anything to anyone, except your outstanding debt to continually love one another, for the one who learns to love has fulfilled every requirement of the law. For the commandments, ‘Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not covet, and every other commandment can be summed up in these words; ‘Love and value others the same way you love and value yourself.’ Love makes it impossible to harm another, so love fulfills all that the law requires” (Romans 13:8–9 TPT).
“A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26 AMP).
“Your pleasant path leads me to pleasant places. I’m overwhelmed by the privileges that come with following you, for you have given me the best!” (Psalm 16:6 TPT).
“For this reason a man is to leave his father and his mother and lovingly hold to his wife, since the two have become joined as one flesh. Marriage is the beautiful design of the Almighty, a great and sacred mystery—meant to be a vivid example of Christ and his church. So every married man should be gracious to his wife just as he is gracious to himself. And every wife should be tenderly devoted to her husband” (Ephesians 5:31–33 TPT).